Freeing My Mind

I was going to attempt a full length blog today including an elabrate update on (I assume you’ve heard) Lori’s pregnancy, my trip to Disney World, San Francisco and life in general. Instead, I spent an hour trying to sort through my blog spam and update my various anti-spam filters. Hopefully the problem is fixed. Seeing as how it is almost 5:00 and I still need to watch the final episode of “Lost”, I will give you all a quick bullet point list of my goings-ons.

1. The biggest one of all is that, while at Disney World, I found out that I’m going to be a dad. I am sure this subject will come up frequently once my blogging bug returns. For now I have these quick observations. A) My wife is crazy sick. When I heard the term “morning sickness” I figured that she would just throw up a bit first thing in the morning and be done with it. Little did I know that she actually throws up all day long and can barely walk from one side of the room to the other. B) Once your wife gets pregnant, advice becomes rampant. The thing that I’ve realized is that no one really knows what they’re talking about. Every woman is different and there’s no one piece of advice that applies to everyone. C) It seems that people forget that humans have been reproducing for thousands of years, even before Baby Einstein was created. While I appreciate technology and science, I think the do’s and don’ts could chill a little bit. D) I’m so crazy excited. This isn’t something that we were expecting, but as soon as I found out something clicked in my head. It felt as if some fatherly area of my brain had been in hibernate mode and was suddenly switched on. I’m sure it only escalates, but I have to say that it’s something I wasn’t expecting.

2) People at Disney World are really fat. I don’t mean that they need to shed a few pounds, I mean that they are driving around in Hovarounds because they can barely walk. Seriously America, we have a problem. If you’ve ever been to Disney World with a three-year-old, then you know that you either sit or stand for most of the day. Usually this isn’t waiting in line for a ride, but waiting to get the signature of a Disney character. This afforded me a lot of time to people-watch and what I noticed most was the sheer number of obese people. I couldn’t help it. It got me thinking about everything in our culture that we rail against, all while seemingly celebrating over-eating and poisonous foods.

3) I’ll be in San Francisco from June 3 – 7. Lori can’t make it due to needing a toilet in close proximity at all times, but both my friend Wes and my Dad are going with me. Hopefully I’ll find an amazing two-story house on the beach with walk-in closets for free.

4) My book is still being edited and I’m making some progress on finally getting some illustrations for my children’s book. That one has been a long time coming. I’m crazy excited about both of these projects and I’m hoping to have them in print mid-summer. The full-length book hasn’t been titled yet. Booooo to feelings of perfectionism.

5) I’ve been on a semi-internet black-out since the final episode of “Lost” was aired on Sunday night. Lori and I are sitting down to watch it tonight. While I would love to talk face to face about the entire series, if I started writing on the matter I might not stop. To my surprise, most of my important questions that I wanted answered have been. Whether I’m satisfied with the answers (I’m looking at you wooden wheel in the golden light) or not doesn’t really matter, at least the writers are attempting to tie up loose ends. Now I just have to hope and pray for A) The movie. I’m sorry, I want more. B) A Ben centric spin-off. (That is if they don’t kill him tonight. I guess that wouldn’t matter though.)

6) I made tamales. If you’ve never done it, it might not seem like a major feat to you, but if you have then you know where I am coming from. It took me two days. I’m glad I made a lot, because I don’t know if I’ll ever do it again. I must admit that they were really good. I made half with a pork butt and half with Mexican chorizo sausage. You don’t want the recipe.

7) OMG I’m going to be a dad.

My wife is a walking encyclopedia of random information. Not Wikipedia type information, more like 100 Fun Facts You Might Wanna Know type information. Pretty much any sentence that begins with, “They say…”, is her specialty. Her most recent fact obsession is that your taste buds change every seven years. Since I don’t feel like doing my own research on the matter, I’ll simply take Lori’s word for it. In fact, I find that not only do my taste buds seems to change in some way every 7 years or so, it seems that my taste in most anything changes during that amount of time. Take music for instance: As a child, I was surrounded my strictly Contemporary Christian Music. Early Stephen Curtis Chapman, Michael W. Smith, Sandi Patty, Amy Grant, Degarmo & Key and of course Carman could often be heard coming from our mini-van tape deck. Case in point:

As you might can tell, this phase didn’t last very long. At least not until my Columbia House 10 CDs for a penny deal ran out.

Another childhood phase originated in the form of a movie. Well, not “a” movie, but rather “the” movie. “Back to the Future” solidified my belief that Michael J. Fox was the raddest guy on the planet. It also introduced me to “The Power of Love”. Not in a weird way, but in a Huey Lewis and the News type way. That Christmas I received a Pocket Rocker. With my brand new rocker was a single mini-tape which contained two songs, one one on each side. Side A: The Bangles “Walk Like an Egyptian” and on Side B: Huey Lewis and the News “The Power of Love”. My childhood was complete.

Like most young Mississippi natives, middle-school and early high-school centered around country music. To this day, one might could find my wife and I stopping the dial on a country station during a long drive from Mississippi. It’s interesting to note that we can still sing most every song. My favorite country musician was and always will be, George Strait. In fact, I liked George Strait so much that I got a Jeep Wrangler and personalized the license plate with STR8 HED. No, I’m not kidding.  I don’t have many high-school memories that do not involve George Strait’s box set as the soundtrack.

My late high-school years, as well as my short-lived college years were mostly fueled by illegal substances. As with most people who venture into the world of drugs, my musical tastes quickly changed. Jam bands and even 1960′s rock & roll became my forte.  My favorite band was Widespread Panic. I not only listened to these guys, I followed their every move. I could even go as far as to tell you what their set lists were during an entire month of touring. I really can’t listen to these guys anymore, but I would have to say that their musical ability was incredible.

At the age of 20, I had an encounter with God that changed everything. Musically, I locked myself away from most anything other than worship music. I quickly found that music is what helped me connect to God. It was easy for me to enter the spirit through music inspired by God. The first book I ever read after my conversion experience was entitled, “No Compromise: The Life Story of Keith Green“. I know the full title because that book is within arms reach even now. In fact, I would say that the inspiration of Keith Green in my life means more today then it did even then. Between two of my favorite musical people, Keith Green and Jason Upton, my early days of growing and learning were packed with inspirational sounds.

In January of 2006, I was coaxed into attending a concert in Vancouver, BC. This one night changed my life. I mean that sincerely. God birthed in me a brand new perspective on music and began a journey within me that I wasn’t expecting. Some friends of mine wanted me to go see this group that I had never heard of and I really wasn’t into going. I was content with Keith and Jason and really didn’t want to pollute myself. As I sat through the opening act sulking, I was half expecting to fall asleep and half expecting to need to perform deliverance on half the people around me. During the intermission before the main act, I thought about sneaking out a side door when suddenly I heard this sound. I looked down onto the stage to see where the sound was coming from. Although only a few lights shone from the platform, the band had taken stage. I was perplexed. There was something familiar about that sound. In fact there was something godly on it. I was confused. Had I somehow stumbled into a time or worship? Or could God actually rest on what some would call “secular” sounds? I set in awe through the entire show. I even looked at Lori and said, “Can you feel that?”. That band was Coldplay.

Which really brings  me to the present. My musical tastes are so varied now that it’s difficult to nail down. I fall back on some old favorites often and I find new favorites through great sites such as Last.FM. Recently I came across a young girl doing an acoustic cover of a Lady GaGa song. I must preface this by saying that I am not a Lady GaGa fan to say the least. In fact when I happen to get one of her songs in my head I’ll usually tune into children’s television in order to replace it with Barney or the Backyardigans. I have to say, this girl does this song a favor. She’s got something special and I though I would share this gem that I found with you. Her name is Juliana Daily. If your tastes haven’t changed in a while, give something new a try. Be inspired.

I’m eating my Cuban sandwich for the day. Once again, magnificant. Anyway, this has been a week of various milestones in and around me:  1)I started a blog. 2) Our closest friends in the world gave birth to their first-born. It was quite an experience. 3) The re-imagining and re-launch of our podcast, the AwakeCast (stay tuned for more after the break)  4) Finally got my entire prophetic school in audio form and placed it in our web store. 5)Lastly, our dog Cash, a goldendoodle, stayed home by himself outside of his kennel.

You might not understand why that last one is a milestone, but you don’t know Cash. He’s not your ordinary dog. Sure, like kids, most people say that about their dog. Although, Cash is a different story. He’s like my own personal Peter. In one moment he’s the greatest friend anyone could ask for. The next moment he’s a ravenous wolf attempting to eat children and destroy entire cities. Case in point 1: He eats underwear (women’s underwear to be specific. my wife’s underwear to be more specific.) He doesn’t chew underwear, he actually consumes it… whole. He usually throws it up within a day or so in the yard. Sometimes he doesn’t quite make it that far. One situation had two of my former interns, while wearing kitchen gloves, pulling a pair out of his back-side that couldn’t quite make it through. (No, I didn’t ask them to do it. They were housesitting.) Case in point 2: A couple of months ago Lori and I decided to sit down for a nice quiet evening and watch “Marley and Me“. The movie is about a golden retriever, who despite his destructive tendancies, becomes an objective of love and affection for the characters played by Owen Wilson(one of my favorite actors) and Jennifer Aniston (one of my least favorite actresses). During one of the more dramatic scenes of destruction by the dog, Marley, I saw something out of the corner of my eye. Lori and I turned to look at the same time. There was our little “Marley” staring at us, a large bar of soap in his mouth and suds dripping out and onto the carpet. Maybe it seems funny to you.

Back to the milestone. We learned early-on in Cash’s life that he shouldn’t be left alone. Paint pens, clothing, documents and various other objects of importance would simply find their way into his grasp.  Well, I decided that along with the new me, that I should give Cash a chance to enter into a new stage of life. Lori was out of town and between my insane office hours as of late and time spent with the newborn in our “family” I wasn’t finding myself at home too much.  So, at 9:00am I walked out the door, leaving cash standing at the window simply staring. I don’t quite know the emotions that were sure to have been going through his head, but as I backed out of my driveway and onto Price Rd. all I could think about was the first time I stayed home from elementary school by myself. I believe a broken lamp and a “fort” made from every chair, sheet and blanket in the house were only midway up the totem pole of my destruction.

The day went by slower than normal. I didn’t even know if I should tell Lori what I was attempting. I didn’t know if my speech on it being a week of  ”overcoming mountains and reaching milestones” would really play out a thousand miles from the situation. After a day at the office and a few hours spent at Shane and Jess’ (the new parents), I decided to go home and face whatever was waiting for me. As I drove the 5 minutes to my house, I felt like a craps player watching the dice roll across the felt in slow motion waiting to see if this roll would be the same as his 20 previous or if this just might be the one.

As my headlights rolled up the drive and onto the full glass door of my cabin, there he was. Seemingly standing in the exact same spot as I left him. Had he even moved? I hoped not. I could feel orchestral music playing through my head as I grabbed my bag and walked up the steps to our deck. The tympani and symbols building to a crescendo as my fingers grasped the door handle. I opened the door just as the conductor brought the symphony down to a lull. And…….nothing. Well not nothing, but… nothing. Nothing was touched. Nothing was chewed, destroye

d or burned. Everything was as it should be. I walked through the house with my once 80 pound weapon of warfare walking at my side. It was as if he was guiding me through the house, showing me his accomplishment.

As I stood in the driveway that night throwing small branches for Cash to fetch and even as I sat on the couch attempting to w

atch a movie with the big guy barking at me 6 inches from my face, I couldn’t help feeling a sense of pride, both for him and myself. I had given him a chance and he took it. A few weeks ago, God gave me a chance to change my life and I took it. Even with this blog, to most people it might seem like a small accomplishment, but to me it’s a slain dragon. You see, being in the public eye, especially in ministry, people look at you in a certain way. They hold you to standard that not many people can live up to. So, what most people do is attempt to keep the every day and normal “them” out of the public eye. I’ve now committed to putting details of my life, my thoughts and feelings, onto the interwebs for all to see. Should it be a big deal? I guess not. Is it? To me, yes. I think I’m finally learning how to practice what I preach. Change the way things are by attempting to do something different. Color outside the lines. So here I am. Craig. A son, husband, brother, friend. A wanderer and a reformer. Someone who makes mistakes. A lot. But, someone who is also willing to acknowledge those mistakes and change. My hope is that what I’ve been saying is right: Those are the kind of people who change the world.

Oh yeah, my brother, Chris, wrote a blog recently about milestones as well. Check it out.

Your comments are appreciated. And now, my inspiration for today. Time to say goodbye and much love.

inspiration