Freeing My Mind

Let’s start at the beginning. My life, up to this point, has seemed to be a continuous journey to discover both my Creator and the reason for my creation. While I discovered my Creator eight years ago, or rather He discovered me, those eight years have found me trying to understand my purpose on this earth in relation to the way I view both the world, myself and God. For some this statement might seem a little strange. Most of my ministry life has been spent helping others to understand their purpose.  So it would just make sense that I already understand mine. The truth is that for all over us, our purpose and the realization of that purpose isn’t really a one time thing. It’s a journey that, if we walk it, takes us through various stages of enlightenment and maturity. For me, it seems that over the past two years my journey has picked up the pace quite a bit and has also taken more than a few unexpected turns.

In my previous blog I described my different tastes in music over my lifetime and how they continually evolve. In the same way, my understanding of my life’s purpose has seemed to take the same course. The difference is that I am able to look back over my walk with God and pinpoint exact moments where my focus and understanding shifted and that shift led me to a better understanding of where I was being led. Somewhat like a connect-the-dots puzzle. My journey hasn’t been plotted with random pit stops, but rather intended destinations that cannot be skipped.

I always encourage those I am mentoring to pinpoint moments in their life where they said to themselves, “I could do this for the rest of my life” and then find a way to do that for the rest of their life. While I have somewhat accomplished many things in my short time walking my journey, I have never actually walked in the true place of my passion. I have encountered moments of where my heart connects with something deeper than excitement or happiness, but there has not been a sustained season of actually both being and functioning as I was created to. I believe I am about to finally step into the place where that happens.

This past August (2009), something happened to me overnight. I am usually able to explain these moments with some semblance of insight, but to this day this one eludes me. I’m not sure exactly what happened, but I went to bed one man and I woke up another. When I arrived to my home in Moravian Falls, NC from the trip that I had been on, both my mind and my heart began to swim with new vision and previously unimagined possibilities. The journey that I had been on for a year and a half prior seemed to be coming to a head and finally making sense. Why had God branded me with this message of love? What was I supposed to do with it? Why did everywhere I look, I saw needed change without the wherewithal to do anything about it? Why did I find myself so frustrated with what I was doing? I felt out of place in ministry. I felt disconnected with my peers in ministry and even with the people that I was ministering to. Overnight, it made sense. If I was going to be used to create change, I had to make radical change myself. A message becomes a reformation when that message becomes reality in the culture around us. If was I going to be an agent for reformation, I had to begin to reform. If I was going to reform, I needed to go the place where that reformation could take place. I knew that we would have to move. I also knew that I would have to change both the structure and focus of Awake as a ministry. The problem was, it was all still theory. I didn’t know where to go or what to do. Thus, the greatest place of frustration I have ever been in began. Have you ever felt that you were on the brink of lifechanging breakthrough, yet you couldn’t see the means for it? That was until the first week of December.

Let’s back up a bit. In 2006 I was on my way to Santa Rosa, California.  I had rented a car at the San Francisco airport and was making the hour drive to Santa Rosa. As I crossed the Golden Gate bridge I heard the voice of God deep in my spirit. He said to me, “If you want to change a culture, go to the cultural center. If you want to see grace run rampant, go the place that needs grace the most.” When Lori and I left Canada in 2007, the Lord reminded of His word to me concerning San Francisco. I asked the Lord if we should go there, in fact we almost did. Although we knew North Carolina was our place for that time. This past December I was in San Diego speaking at a couple of churches and visiting our friends Jerame and Miranda Nelson. We were at lunch one day and I was talking to them about our changes desires and our frustration with where God was calling us to implement this new vision. Jerame reminded me of the word God gave me concerning San Francisco, immediately and without warning, I looked at my wife…. “We’re moving to San Francisco aren’t we?” She smiled and said, “I think so.” That was it. Which brings me to today.

We’re moving to San Francisco. There I said it. Over the past two month, we have been praying, thinking and somewhat planning. I have never felt so excited and so alive in my life. One of the most important aspects of discovering your purpose is discovering the people that you are called to. Until that point, you will never understand and walk in the fullness of that calling. I know this is my place. God tried to launch this message of love once there and I believe there is a people who are ready to fulfill that call in that city. This is where some of you come into play. The following are two videos that I made to send out to a few of our close friends and family. I am posting these for everyone now. The most important part of our initial strategy involves the building of a team to come with us. This call isn’t just for anyone and we don’t expect just anyone to drop their lives and move to San Francisco, but it is for some. We cannot do this without an initial core group of people to say, “I not only believe in your heart and vision, it is my heart and vision.” It’s not about following a ministry to a place to help them, it’s about following YOUR destiny. It’s important that we’re surrounded with people that have various gifts and talents. It’s going to take all of us. You will know if it’s you. God’s faithful like that.

I’m also going to include a video clip that I found two weeks ago. It comes from a night that I was speaking in Florida in 2008. You never know what God is showing you.

At the end of this month we are going to San Francisco for a few days to do a little more specific planning and to meet with some local leaders. After that trip, we will know more specifics. I’ll be blogging the whole time, so look forward to it. If you want to talk more with me, hit me up on Facebook.

It’s going to be an amazing ride and I can’t wait to ride it with some of you. Like one of my favorite artists, Kristene Mueller said, “Keep hoping St. Francis, you’ll be a free man yet. You’ll see the sun shine again over your city streets.”