Freeing My Mind

Hey everyone! Wow, I can honestly say that I’ve missed sharing the goings-on of my life with all you guys. I was on vacation last week in Myrtle Beach, SC. It’s always nice to be with family. Lori and I got to spend a week of simply eating and hanging out at the beach with my in-laws, including my adorable niece and nephew. It was nice to have time to think and reflect. I’m sure I’ve enough blog posts rattling around in my head that this should be an interesting week here at Freeing My Mind headquarters.

Can you feel that? For anyone with dreams, it should be a fairly normal feeling. Me and this feeling have grown quite accustomed to one another over the years. He’s a little annoying, while at the same time necessary. I call him, “Mister I’ve-Got-A-Lot-To-Do-And-I-Don’t-Know-Where-To-Start”. After my vacation from ministry, life and especially the internet, he popped his head into my office to say hello.

Hey there.

Hey, Craig, how’s it going?

I was fine, until you showed up with your e-mail inbox, phone calls and started reminding me of my goals.

Yeah, that’s what I’m here about.

Well, have a seat. Is this going to take all day?

I don’t know.

You don’t know?

Yeah, that’s up to you.

What’s up to me?

How long I’m here.

Ok, well what is it?

I need you to do some things.

What kind of things?

Stuff.

Stuff?

Yeah, just some random stuff that might not seem like it’s taking you anywhere.

That sounds fun.

I can sense your sarcasm, Craig.

That was intended.

I did use the word “seem”.

Oh, you mean that all of this stuff I have to do is actually taking me somewhere?

Precisely.

Where?

Somewhere exciting.

Where is this “somewhere exciting”?

Look out your window. You see that mountain?

Yeah, sure.

Past that mountain, through some woods, across a river, through a couple of cities, over another mountain and then you’ll be there.

That seems like a long way.

It is. You better get started.

One of the most common hindrances to becoming and achieving the desires and dreams within our hearts, is the inability to see today for what it is. It’s a day. Not a month, not a year, but a day. These small spans of time consist of only 24 hours. The older I get, the more I realize just how short those two dozen hours are. When we consider a day, it seems to not really matter in the big scheme of things. It’s just a day. A year is important. You get to add another number at the end of your age and the end of that year is marked by fireworks and various celebrations. Yeah, a year is important, but a day? Does a day really matter?

I’ve noticed a common theme among people as I’ve traveled. Most people have a place they are trying to get to. A dream that are trying to achieve. Although, for most those dreams never see the light of day. I’ve found that for the most part we simply sit and wait on the dream to happen. We look at the years as they go by and either celebrate all that has been accomplished or all mourn all that has ceased to be accomplished. I believe that what we don’t realize is that the true calculation of our current successes and failures come not at the end of a year, but at the end of a day.

Days make up years, and minutes make up days. Without the smaller piece of time, the larger piece ceases to exist. In the same way, without taking the small steps to where we are going we will never get there. As I envisioned this long path that ended with me seeing the fullness of everything that God has placed inside me, I saw myself take a step. It wasn’t a jump, I wasn’t running, but it was progress. I think the mistake that we seem to make and envisioning the destination without taking steps to get there. We have a tendency to simply wait to arrive, rather than getting up and going. We expect everything to happen all at once, rather than a little at a time. I’ve noticed this especially concerning growing in our understanding of and relationship to God. Especially within the prophetic movement, we’ve become so accustomed to waiting on an instantaneous event, rather than a day to day growth. We stake our dreams on an instant impartation, rather than a daily progress.

During Jesus’ life on earth, he often made seemingly simplistic comments that if actually considered can wreck the way we live. This is one such statement. “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matt 6:34) In other words, Carpe Diem…. seize the day. We live in a time of worry and stress (more on that after the break). For the most part, these feeling are rooted in the unknown. We aren’t sure how things will turn out, so we spend our time worrying about how they will. Jesus’ model of life was to live in the moment. Each day is a gift and each day carries implications that affect the next day. The greater moments of our life are made up by pieces of these days.

Today began in a stressful way. Looking at the exactly 100 messages sitting under the unread folder of my inbox, the 15 Facebook private messages and the 6 “to-do list” reminders flashing on my computer screen, caused my friend, Mister IGALTDAIDKWTS to show up. I’ve just spent a week, while trying not think too hard, contemplating the larger picture of my life and ministry. Then today came around and the small things just seemed so useless. That was until I remembered. I’m going somewhere, one step at a time.

It’s good to be back. I love today.

be inspired (before I get letters and comments on the matter: This video is not making fun of Jesus, rather making fun of our perception of Jesus.)

The Cuban sandwich man is back outside. From the looks of the sandwich board, it looks like they’ve introduced Jamaican empanadas. I hope he’s not looking for me. My wife informed me that my loyalty to seeing Little Havana thrive had gone a little too far. The everyday lunch thing had to stop. I think he misses me. Or maybe he’s actually upset that I haven’t been around. Is there such thing as a Cuban mafia?

I’m feeling a lot stronger in both my spirit and my mind than I was at the beginning of this week. I think I’m just going through some growing pains. This happens to me on a pretty frequent basis. A lot have people have mentioned over the past 7 years that there’s an acceleration on my life. In other words, that I’m growing very quick. I would actually humbly have to agree, although it’s not as easy as some might think. I remember as a kid hitting growth spurts, where growing an inch in a month or two wasn’t abnormal. I would lay crying in my bed at night from the pain in my legs. My dad would use IcyHot to try and bring some relief to my aches, but it did little more than replace the pain in my ligaments with icy hot pain on my skin. I would always say, “Dad, why does it hurt so bad.” He would inevitably reply, “It’s just part of growing.”

I’ve felt the same conversation happening this week all over again, only this time it’s between me and my heavenly Father. Growth hurts. (Maybe that should be our next t-shirt…. actually it seems a little too emo.)  It makes sense though. If rapid change is taking place then it would only make sense that the vessel for that change would have a difficult time keeping up. It’s as if the world around me is having a difficult time keeping up with what’s happening inside me. Our current ministry structure, financial structure (more on that after the break), administrative structure, etc. are screaming at me to slow down, all while I am screaming at them to keep up.

This has been one of the most financially difficult summers for us as a ministry. One might want to blame the economy, but my Provider is greater than this world’s economy. Rather I see it as part of our growing pains. From the addition of new staff to the 5 or 6 new projects that we are working on, it has not been easy to say the least. Add to it, that we have not even scratched the surface on what we want to see for 2010. All that being said, I think I’ve actually figured out a key component to the problems that we’ve been experiencing. When I returned from the trip to Canada I mentioned in my first post, the one where all the change in me began taking place, I met with my board members. Now, these people aren’t just a group of people that I meet with on a yearly basis for legal reasons, these guys are some of my greatest prayer supporters and advisers. Amazing people. They were the first that I shared with about what God was doing in me. Part of all of this change has been an intense desire to take my role as a spiritual father to a whole new place. I currently oversee our 5 month internship, but these guys come and go, most of them anyway. I hate that. If I’m being honest, I want to see a true community of believers raised up from the ground up. Something more local that I can pour into on an ongoing basis and that doesn’t require me to be on the road 3 weeks a month. I love traveling, but I’m not the type of guy who can live his life on the road. Over the past two years, while living here in Moravian Falls, I’ve made a series of attempts at doing this. To say the least, it hasn’t worked. After a few weeks/months it always whittles down to just our little Awake family. So, I’m meeting with my board and sharing all of this, my desires and frustrations with my attempts, and suddenly they just stop me. In summary this is what they said. “Craig, your not called to simply a geographical location. Your called to a people group.” At first I was confused. From my childhood days in the baptist church, I understood people groups to be about location and ethnicity. That was until they clarified. “God has given you a message for a people group. Not in the sense of a ethnic group, but a sub culture of various societies. Are you currently surrounded by the people your called to? You won’t operate at your full potential until you are.”

It all clicked for me at that moment. Over the course of the past two years, if not more, God has been reshaping me and reforming my message. I am still going to the people group that I was so effective with 3 and 4 years ago, but the focus of my message has changed. I have changed. I’m not the same person I was and I am no longer simply interested in seeing some miracles and maybe witnessing a revival. I’ve been there and it only made me more desperate for the true desires of my heart. That’s why it’s I’ve been so frustrated. In a business sense I’ve failed at market research. The problems we’ve been experiencing aren’t do to a decrease in God’s favor on our lives and ministry. It’s that it’s shifted to a people that are crying out for the message that we have. Now…. to find you guys. That’s the task at hand.

Cute. My sister/assistant just came into my office and said, “I think Brayden (my nephew) is going through a growth spurt.” I love you so much, God.

much love to you all and especially to my people… wherever you are.

ps: For those of you who only read my blog via facebook, visit awake.org/freeingmymind and leave some comments there.

and now, tight-roll your jeans… it’s time for inspiration