Freeing My Mind

I’m eating my Cuban sandwich for the day. Once again, magnificant. Anyway, this has been a week of various milestones in and around me:  1)I started a blog. 2) Our closest friends in the world gave birth to their first-born. It was quite an experience. 3) The re-imagining and re-launch of our podcast, the AwakeCast (stay tuned for more after the break)  4) Finally got my entire prophetic school in audio form and placed it in our web store. 5)Lastly, our dog Cash, a goldendoodle, stayed home by himself outside of his kennel.

You might not understand why that last one is a milestone, but you don’t know Cash. He’s not your ordinary dog. Sure, like kids, most people say that about their dog. Although, Cash is a different story. He’s like my own personal Peter. In one moment he’s the greatest friend anyone could ask for. The next moment he’s a ravenous wolf attempting to eat children and destroy entire cities. Case in point 1: He eats underwear (women’s underwear to be specific. my wife’s underwear to be more specific.) He doesn’t chew underwear, he actually consumes it… whole. He usually throws it up within a day or so in the yard. Sometimes he doesn’t quite make it that far. One situation had two of my former interns, while wearing kitchen gloves, pulling a pair out of his back-side that couldn’t quite make it through. (No, I didn’t ask them to do it. They were housesitting.) Case in point 2: A couple of months ago Lori and I decided to sit down for a nice quiet evening and watch “Marley and Me“. The movie is about a golden retriever, who despite his destructive tendancies, becomes an objective of love and affection for the characters played by Owen Wilson(one of my favorite actors) and Jennifer Aniston (one of my least favorite actresses). During one of the more dramatic scenes of destruction by the dog, Marley, I saw something out of the corner of my eye. Lori and I turned to look at the same time. There was our little “Marley” staring at us, a large bar of soap in his mouth and suds dripping out and onto the carpet. Maybe it seems funny to you.

Back to the milestone. We learned early-on in Cash’s life that he shouldn’t be left alone. Paint pens, clothing, documents and various other objects of importance would simply find their way into his grasp.  Well, I decided that along with the new me, that I should give Cash a chance to enter into a new stage of life. Lori was out of town and between my insane office hours as of late and time spent with the newborn in our “family” I wasn’t finding myself at home too much.  So, at 9:00am I walked out the door, leaving cash standing at the window simply staring. I don’t quite know the emotions that were sure to have been going through his head, but as I backed out of my driveway and onto Price Rd. all I could think about was the first time I stayed home from elementary school by myself. I believe a broken lamp and a “fort” made from every chair, sheet and blanket in the house were only midway up the totem pole of my destruction.

The day went by slower than normal. I didn’t even know if I should tell Lori what I was attempting. I didn’t know if my speech on it being a week of  ”overcoming mountains and reaching milestones” would really play out a thousand miles from the situation. After a day at the office and a few hours spent at Shane and Jess’ (the new parents), I decided to go home and face whatever was waiting for me. As I drove the 5 minutes to my house, I felt like a craps player watching the dice roll across the felt in slow motion waiting to see if this roll would be the same as his 20 previous or if this just might be the one.

As my headlights rolled up the drive and onto the full glass door of my cabin, there he was. Seemingly standing in the exact same spot as I left him. Had he even moved? I hoped not. I could feel orchestral music playing through my head as I grabbed my bag and walked up the steps to our deck. The tympani and symbols building to a crescendo as my fingers grasped the door handle. I opened the door just as the conductor brought the symphony down to a lull. And…….nothing. Well not nothing, but… nothing. Nothing was touched. Nothing was chewed, destroye

d or burned. Everything was as it should be. I walked through the house with my once 80 pound weapon of warfare walking at my side. It was as if he was guiding me through the house, showing me his accomplishment.

As I stood in the driveway that night throwing small branches for Cash to fetch and even as I sat on the couch attempting to w

atch a movie with the big guy barking at me 6 inches from my face, I couldn’t help feeling a sense of pride, both for him and myself. I had given him a chance and he took it. A few weeks ago, God gave me a chance to change my life and I took it. Even with this blog, to most people it might seem like a small accomplishment, but to me it’s a slain dragon. You see, being in the public eye, especially in ministry, people look at you in a certain way. They hold you to standard that not many people can live up to. So, what most people do is attempt to keep the every day and normal “them” out of the public eye. I’ve now committed to putting details of my life, my thoughts and feelings, onto the interwebs for all to see. Should it be a big deal? I guess not. Is it? To me, yes. I think I’m finally learning how to practice what I preach. Change the way things are by attempting to do something different. Color outside the lines. So here I am. Craig. A son, husband, brother, friend. A wanderer and a reformer. Someone who makes mistakes. A lot. But, someone who is also willing to acknowledge those mistakes and change. My hope is that what I’ve been saying is right: Those are the kind of people who change the world.

Oh yeah, my brother, Chris, wrote a blog recently about milestones as well. Check it out.

Your comments are appreciated. And now, my inspiration for today. Time to say goodbye and much love.

inspiration